Jan 31, 2013
A Tough Day at the Office
I got some really bad news the other day at work.
For those who don’t know, I’m in the field of psychiatry. Generally you can’t do much harm by talking to people, which is nice compared to ER or surgery where a wrong move could easily kill someone.
But, psychiatry’s not free of its risks or tragedies.
I had a patient who had come in a few days earlier. He was a smart guy who had made bad decisions about using drugs and was homeless at the time. He wanted to leave the hospital and there really wasn’t any reason to keep him there. Usually people are just in the hospital if they are dangerous to themselves, to other people, or so mentally ill they can’t provide for themselves outside the hospital. He definitely didn’t meet those criteria and wanted to leave, so there was no reason to keep him there against his will.
We had a short talk before he left. He was asking me how old I was and told me he had also thought about psychiatry. He had pursued psychology and lost his job because of drug abuse. He asked what his chances were of getting into medical school with his past. I told him probably not that great, but that the PhD in psychology might be worth going for. He thought that was a pretty good idea and thanked me for my time.
He seemed happy enough when he left.
We got the news a couple of days later that he had been found dead. We don’t know what happened and probably won’t know. It’s very likely he had an accidental overdose given his long history of opiate abuse.
It’s the first time I’ve had such direct contact with someone who has died. It’s an awful feeling. Looking back, I don’t think I really would have done much differently, but it still feels awful.
So, if you’re thinking about psychiatry, just understand that every job as a doctor has its dealings with death. This was mine. And it’s not great.